Saturday, April 30, 2011


I had this whole spiel I was going to write about that was supposed to be great and nice and all of that. But halfway through typing it out, I got bored with it and said no one wants to read this drabble.

So, I'll just give some updates:

-I'm not sick anymore. Yay!
-Came in at 200lbs this morning. Which means not only did the loss from last week stick, I lost another pound. Double yay!
-I've been walking a bit more (or trying to push myself to walk more at any rate).

So, I also took my measurements this morning. I'm actually quite obsessive about keeping on top of my measurements because of clothing, so I tend to measure ...too often for my own good. Ahaha.

Old measurements from the 10th of this month:
Bust: 39" (99cm)
Waist: 36" (92cm)
Hips: 45.5" (116cm)

Measurements from this morning:
Bust: 38" (97cm)
Waist: 35.5" (90cm)
Hips: 45" (114cm)

The fact I lost an inch off my bust, and half an inch off my waist and hips in TWENTY DAYS is...just amazing to me. I'm getting so much smaller than my scale numbers are reflecting. I got a pair of size 14 jeans up onto my hips. I couldn't come close to buttoning them or zipping them up. But they got onto my HIPS. My gigantic hips! I have to dig around for some old pairs of 15's and 16's I have and see if they fit/how close they are to fitting.

A shirt I got sometime last summer doesn't fit anymore. Not really, anyhow. It hangs off me in THE MOST unflattering way you could imagine. My workout shirts (Which are very cute and I wear as regular clothing when it's too warm out) are getting a bit big, too!

Sunday, April 24, 2011


No, I did not elaborate after last week's post. And yes, I am posting late (Happy Easter, to everyone who celebrates it!). I am not posting late because I forgot or was sad or anything of the sort. Actually, I'm really sick. Really, really sick. I did little more than piddle around and be sad and sleepy yesterday.

Which is why I hesitate to be too happy about my weight today. 201lbs. I'm pretty sure this is due to the fact I've barely ate since Wednesday, though some days I'm sure I ate enough for two people, so maybe it balanced it out. Clearly I'm feeling better today, at least a bit. Because I'm posting! Hopefully the weight sticks. If not, I;'ll be okay.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Scale said 203 this morning. Posting from my cell. Will elaborate when I get home!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

So I'm a bit late on the updating front. I did weigh in and came out to 204lbs this week. That means I lost one pound from last week's gain. I haven't really done much in the way of exercising so I haven't really updated my fitness. I did, however take some new measurements.

Bust: 39" (99cm)
Waist: 36" (92cm)
Hips: 45.5" (116cm)

I have lost a LOT in size! Holy crud! When did that all even happen? An inch off my bust, two off my waist, THREE AND A HALF off my hips! That is...phenomenal! Wonderful! I feel so great about this! So much more than that number, 204.

My first real 'win' will be to see myself at 199lbs again, as I haven't been under 200lbs in two years. After that, it will be to see 192lbs, specifically. As this was my lowest weight reached last time. After that, I want to see myself at under 175lbs.

175lbs. Why this number? Because I remembered that the last time I weighed this much, and that I knew I weighed this much...was in middle school. I was 12 years old and I was heavier than my 17 year old brother who's 5'10'' and was very, very active at the time. His pants were too small for me. I weighed more than a teenaged boy when I was 12.

The day I found out how much he weighed and how much I weighed (he was in the 150's) in comparison to him... I cried. I went off to my bedroom and cried because I was SO GODDAMN FAT. I was just so fat.

I haven't been in the 170's since. But I didn't go down, I just went up. All the way to 230lbs (or higher...).

That same brother still weighs less than me. He weighs in the 190's now. He's a muscular man, from going to the gym and working out. While he is a bit on the heavier side, he's still very healthy.

And I want to weigh less than him. Very soon. And I will.

He doesn't know any of this. He never has. He doesn't know I've been comparing myself to him all these years, thinking, "How can I weigh more than him? How?" Even when he was 'fat', he still weighed less than me. Every time. I don't want to be my version of fat anymore.

And I just want to be healthier.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Weigh in April 2, 2011

So I came in at 205lbs today, which makes a gain of 2lbs from last week. I'm not going to pretend it had nothing to do with my Saturday outing to work, my Sunday outing to the Indian buffet, Monday's late night trip to McDonald's, or Wednesday's midnight run to McDonald's.

Or yesterday's outing at Pizza Hut.

I didn't binge, it's not about that. It's about eating too much already prepared food. Eating junk. I feel gross, too. I don't feel heavier, but my stomach's been bothering me (too much grease) and I've had a lot more headaches than normal.

On the bright side, I bought a food scale last night. FINALLY. I'm tired of counting out and guesstimating what I'm eating. I can finally see exactly how many ounces and grams. Yay!