So mad!

So I'm feeling much better today than I was yesterday but the day is young and there is plenty of time for it to go downhill and end with me curled up in a bed too sick to move. Basically, what I'm trying to say, is that I'm keeping the day clear of any kind of big plan or agenda. Just in case.

Yesterday I mentioned being upset over losing the chance to buy a dress. Now, I realize that this is one of those first world problems and there are people out there with much bigger ones. I also realize I personally have much bigger problems than losing out on the chance to buy a kind of overpriced dress. It was just something I'd really wanted. I'd been saving since October for this dress; all my Christmas money, all my extra cash (of which I don't have much, believe it or not), has gone to saving for this dress. Now it's gone and I can't have it.

So what's a responsible adult to do? Probably put it away for that trip I've been planning later on that year. I actually did save up enough for that plane ticket in the course of saving up for this dress. However, that wouldn't be very satisfying. So instead, I bought some clothes with it; to replace the dress I'd wanted so badly. What does this all have to do with a weight loss blog? Well, very little in the long run. But I want to vent out other things here, too, sometimes. But also...

When I started this blog. Before I started this blog. I couldn't have dreamed of fitting into ANY of the items I bought the other day. Maybe one dress, but the other three things? No way! My bust was 45inches, my waist 46, my hips in the mid 50's. There's no way I would have been able to get these things on, or even think about getting them on. That dress I saved up for? It wouldn't have EVER come close to fitting; it's measurements only mesh with my most recent weight loss. Through this blog, through what I've done outside this blog, I can fit most anything I'd really have my sights on.

And that's a big deal to me. I don't have to sit here any longer just sighing and saying, "Some day, some day". Or "I can always get a friend to make me something similar." Sure, that would work with solid pieces, but nothing printed. There was no way for me to get some of my favorite items custom made for myself unless I bought two of the item and then spliced them together. Which wasn't an option because of the cost involved. I really don't have a whole lot of disposable income; I just save and scrimp and go without in other ways. It took me nearly four months to scrape up $400, and that's including the fact that about $200 of that came from what family members and friends gave me for Christmas.

So I'm bummed I lost the dress. However, I've been trying not to go too crazy about it. I'll buy my things and then start saving for my trip. It's in August, so I should be able to save for at least the plane ticket by the end of it. Especially since I've been getting a few more hours at work lately, and that's expected to continue. I also am going to try and have an emergency savings fund set up. Just in case something happens and I can't go to work, that sort of thing.

I'm also hoping to continue with my weight loss. At goal, I should be able to fit in pretty much everything but the smallest items. Generally, I'm not so interested in those, anyway. It's not even that I've trained myself not to think about something so unattainable; I just tend to not even like the cuts of the pieces or anything. So, it' not a big loss to me or anything to not have those available.